Worried about your own or someone else's behaviour?

You may be worried about your own behaviour. If you think your actions have been (or are becoming) abusive or harmful to someone you care about, there are services and support available to help you understand, address, and change these behaviours.

Defining harm and unhealthy behaviours 

Harm doesn't only consist of violent acts such as hitting, kicking, and strangling. It includes abusive behaviours such as:

• Isolating someone – causing family and friends to feel uncomfortable when visiting 
  
• Telling a partner/family member they can’t go somewhere or see someone 
  
• Controlling someone's movements or monitoring them 
• Difficulty controlling anger and targeting someone as the reason for your anger 
  
• Intimidating your partner/family member, causing them to fear you and your responses/emotions/behaviours 
  
• Emotional, financial, or physical abuse 
• Regularly belittling/criticising your partner/family member
• Screaming, shouting, hitting doors/walls, throwing objects – this can make a person fear what you could do
• Creating a feeling of walking on eggshells

Ask yourself: are you worried about your own behaviour towards someone you care about? Do these things happen...?  

• Do you frequently shout at someone? 
• Do you criticise them, even for the small things like the way they wear their hair?
• Do you control who they see?
• Do you control the finances?
• Do you fear what they do and who they're with when you're not there? 
• If you do, do you find ways to monitor their movements, using social media, using tech to keep an eye on them or asking friends to spy on them?

Regardless of your reasons or insecurities, these behaviours are NOT acceptable! And you can seek help to change. Services are non-judgemental and keen to help anyone acknowledging their behaviours even if they don’t fully understand them. 

Yes, it can be natural for relationships (partners/family/even friends) to have disagreements and argue from time to time, but if you intentionally cause harm to them and your actions are motivated by extreme feelings of anger, jealousy, or a want to control, this isn't healthy and confidential support is available. 

Local help

• Cranstoun (call 01905 917450) - Cranstoun offers a mixture of behaviour improvement and change programmes and some 1-2-1 work dependant on need. It would be best to call and discuss if you're unsure. Help is delivered in a supportive environment where people understand and support others to change. No one is there to judge - just to help and guide change.

• Shropshire Mental Health Support (call 01743 368647)
  
• The Green Oak Foundation (call 01743 340880) – reduced cost counselling service in Shrewsbury, offers remote sessions and some face to face. They offer appointments between 9am-7pm Mon-Fri.
• Mental health online resources

National help

• Respect - help for domestic abuse perpetrators (call 0808 8024 040)
• NHS Mental Health Access service (call 0808 196 4501)
• NHS talking therapies (call 0300 123 6020)

For those concerned about someone else’s abusive behaviours 

If you think someone is in immediate danger you need to call 999.

Do you believe someone is a risk to their partner/family member?

• For general advice or about services for them contact Cranstoun on 01905 917450
• If you're worried about a child/children at risk, contact First Point of Contact (FPOC) (children’s safeguarding) on 0345 678 9021
• Or for adult with care and support needs at risk contact First Point of Contact (FPOC) (adult safeguarding) on 0345 678 9044

Please explore our other useful services section too.